Ghagh

I'm so fucking sick of people passing judgment on others before they even get to know them. Who the fuck are you to say that anyone has no life, or that they are fake. You can't see someone's soul with a glance, and if you think you can you are really fucked up. I'm sick of people who sit around and want to do something to make a difference, yet they stand waiting for someone to make the plunge. Even when somebody does do something that could mean something, they won't support. I hate this town. It is so full of people who say that they live a certain lifestyle when really they just like to get dressed up like it is fucking Halloween or some bull shit like that. I wish that I could really get to know some people who stay distant and waiting. There is good inside of everyone, and there is no reason to blockade yourself from others because you dress differently, or have different beliefs. I am just so sick of those who pass judgment without knowing me I guess. It isn't only people who think differently then me either, it is people who are so fucking absorbed into a "scene" or a "lifestyle" that think I am fake because I am young or hang out with people they don't like.
I don't label myself into a stereotype, I do what I want because for some reason, that is what I think is right... Is this so far from what you are doing?
On a different note; I suck. I've been feeling really numb to most everything lately. I wish I could see everything objectively, and not get stuck thinking about one decision, or how one choice affects another. I just want my head to clear. I want to feel happy. I want to feel pissed. Being stuck in the middle is the cruelest endearment that I've ever had to deal with. Sometimes I question, what is my life worth? Many people would say nothing, and sometimes I agree with them. What the fuck am I doing here typing thoughts and feelings on some stupid blog nobody will ever read or care about. My existence is purely for my own entertainment lately, so what happens when you become dissatisfied with your life. Do you keep pushing forward till that moment comes where you discover your meaning in this world? This is why religion was made; nobody can deal with the fact that your life is nothing but a statistic, a driving force, a small worker in the beehive of civilization. So they go searching for a fictisous answer to all their soul's desires. Maybe I'm fucked up, and maybe I just can't sleep at night and talk to people who aren't there, but so what? Is it not better to stand still then to be a part of the system? We could all learn a lot about others by just standing still and observing what is going on around us. We could all learn a lot about ourselves by seclusion and silence. However, there is a time and a place when you must scream and shout and push and shove, and in that one moment. That one second of glory when you don't care about how you look, or what others think of you, you are infinite, and that will echo into everyone whose eyes are open, and mouth is shut. You may be silenced, you may be constrained, but you will make an impression into another person's soul, and inspire them to make their movement, to be infinite, for just that one second.
That's all I could ever ask for in my life. That is all I would ever need.