Today I went riding on my bicycle looking for resumes. I took home about 5 or 6, and have filled in like 3 so far. I need a job so that I can hopefully move out of my mother's house within the next couple months ahead. She is moving to a new state at the return of my step-father who is an active duty soldier in Iraq, once he returns in a year or so he will have the opportunity to work state side but their are no military bases in Michigan so we will have to move. I'm sick of living life entirely dependant on my parents support. Its going to be hard but I would much rather be hungry and broke than under their control. Call it teen angst, or naivety, I don't really care it is just to much bull shit having to deal with my uptight, super controlling, typical white christian mother for much longer.
I want to find my way in this world. I don't want money, I want happiness.
I'm not sure if I can find that living with my mother.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
This is it.
The time that happens in every young adults life, and yet it swiftly comes to bite you in the ass when you least expect it. This year I will be graduating High School, and will therefore have to make up my indecisive mind on what the fuck it is that I will be doing with the rest of my life. How is it that I could run through all those years and all of those problems with no damage done?
This weekend was my last hurrah for summer. I went to my old hometown to hang out with my best friend, Ethan. After a couple beers and a lot of motivation on his part we went hopping from pool to pool in his neighborhood. God, I never feel more alive than when I'm out doing stupid crazy shit with my friends. Will it, however, have to end with this summer? Next year I may live in a different state, with different views on life, with different friends and a new goal: the future.
All my life I have tried to stay focused on the present, and now I have to worry about the rest of my life? It is ridiculous, it is mind blowing. I don't want a conventional job. I don't want to be a walking suit with no real aspirations other than getting that raise he's had an eye on for so long.
I want to live my life independantly from all the big corporations and money hungry consumers. But I'm just a tiny fish swimming for my life against the greedy sharks. I just have to pray to god that I can hold out for just a little more time.
This weekend was my last hurrah for summer. I went to my old hometown to hang out with my best friend, Ethan. After a couple beers and a lot of motivation on his part we went hopping from pool to pool in his neighborhood. God, I never feel more alive than when I'm out doing stupid crazy shit with my friends. Will it, however, have to end with this summer? Next year I may live in a different state, with different views on life, with different friends and a new goal: the future.
All my life I have tried to stay focused on the present, and now I have to worry about the rest of my life? It is ridiculous, it is mind blowing. I don't want a conventional job. I don't want to be a walking suit with no real aspirations other than getting that raise he's had an eye on for so long.
I want to live my life independantly from all the big corporations and money hungry consumers. But I'm just a tiny fish swimming for my life against the greedy sharks. I just have to pray to god that I can hold out for just a little more time.
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